This morning I began thinking about a diagram that could identify the components needed for the pursuit of goals. What resulted after an hour’s sketching is the piece featured above. Initially drafted in pencil, the graphic was then inked over to make the shapes and text more solid. It features three sections: Past, Present, and Future.
Where we exist day-to-day is not identified necessarily by the Present, the central circle. Rather, we exist as healthy individuals in the Present only if we have achieved adequate Understanding of the Past.
If we can explain to ourselves – and others, ideally – how the experiences of yesterday have brought us to today, then we might say that we have developed a sufficient Understanding of the preceding months or years. And by doing so, we can declare that we exist in the Present even though we may regularly look back to the Past to confirm how we navigated the challenges that once stood in our way.
If we don’t understanding our Past, then we effectively still live there, continually trying to wrap our heads around it. Without the necessary discipline, honesty, or insight, we can find ourselves trapped in the Past, struggling to reckon with periods that may months or years old. If a friend or counselor can help us walk through the Past and see its elements more clearly, then we can develop the Understanding we need to advance to – and live in – the Present.
A healthy, functional Present possesses two components: Belonging and Self-love (or Worthiness). Belonging refers to the inherent comfort and acceptance we feel in our physical and social environments. If we were in a different place, we would not feel as relaxed or as part of the natural world order. We feel “at home” in our current environment when we are experiencing a sense of Belonging. Belonging’s half-circle sits above Self-love. The former’s position symbolizes that Belonging is more external — more outward — than Self-love.
Like Belonging, Self-love is based on the notion of acceptance. When we feel at home inside of ourselves – when we value and love the person that we are despite our imperfections – we experience an acceptance by internal forces. Our heart, mind, and spirit validate our inherent Worthiness even though we may recognize that we are not yet as “complete” or as “well-developed” as we wish we were.
When we experience both Belonging and Self-love in the Present, we feel stable and rooted. We feel whole. And in this state, we can look ahead to the Future as a place where we can enlarge ourselves – where we can stretch our abilities and achieve a more expansive circle of Belonging and Self-love.
To strive for personal growth, we set goals; we begin making plans for a new, better Future. Two components are necessary to build a bridge to the imagined self. Purpose/Mission fills the top-half of the Future’s forward arrow. Below it lies Faith/Optimism. A healthy Future outlook needs these two components to align.
A goal does not exist until a Purpose or Mission has been identified, and it should be desirable, measurable, and achievable. If you don’t want to reach it, or you can’t realistically each it, then the goal remains a dream. There is nothing wrong with dreams, of course. They are the longings of the soul; they represent aspirational states of being. In contrast, goals represent landmarks that the heart, mind, and spirit – working in unison – can help us reach with the necessary discipline, sacrifice, and resourcefulness.
Once a Purpose or Mission has been selected – completing a half-marathon, for example – and the heart, mind, and spirit are united in working towards its attainment, the lower-half of the Future arrow comes into play: Faith/Optimism. With the goal identified, we must believe that our heart, mind, and spirit that are up to the task. Our sense of Faith and/or Optimism is what will keep us moving forward when inner and outer obstacles arise. And they will arise.
On the way to our goal, we will likely question our ability to realize our Purpose or accomplish our Mission. We will likely doubt ourselves. We may begin internalizing others’ criticisms about what we are doing. And when that questioning, doubting, and internalizing lead to worry and insecurity, the Faith and Optimism that exist below the surface will be called on to support our continued movement toward the goal. We might say that the Purpose or Mission walks across the bridge constructed by Faith and/or Optimism.
When Faith/Optimism falters, then the Purpose or Mission necessarily becomes unstable. If Faith and/or Optimism collapse, then the Purpose or Mission falls quickly away — retreating to the landscape of dreams deferred. The goal becomes lost because we can no longer muster the belief that it is something that we can achieve. The heart, mind, and spirit stand as a powerful trinity, but they cannot execute the goal’s plan without the underlying resolve, gentleness, and grace afforded by Faith or Optimism.