“I am trying to figure out…how to coexist with my feelings.”

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I am trying to figure out…how to coexist with my feelings. So far, I’ve let them shove me around, drag me under, ride my bike, steal cheese from my fridge, borrow my books without returning them, and generally take the helm of my life-boat. What ### if I lived in a world where I didn’t melt in a puddle on the floor after getting rejected by one of the fifteen jobs I applied for? What if I built a house that didn’t collapse into a pile of cheddar popcorn and blankets every time I ran into my ex? Good feelings, too, take their toll. Before I remembered I had this card in my backpack, I was sitting in the college library for half an hour — okay, it was a whole hour — listening to my “homework playlist” and smiling like a dummy because some guy I met three days ago was texting me. No, he wasn’t even #### texting me. He had texted me, right before I sat down to study for a test — an exam — I have tomorrow. How can I think about expansionary fiscal policy when I’m riding my own emotional roller coaster?


Can you find a part of yourself in these lines? I do. That’s one of the magical qualities of the written word — its ability to create connection.

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2 thoughts on ““I am trying to figure out…how to coexist with my feelings.”

  1. Compartmentalization is so hard. Seems like guys can do it so easily. Having your mind occupied with so much and trying to study will never work. I used to make a list, set times and then make sure I stuck to them. That wasn’t even when cell phone existed! 20 minutes here and 30 minutes on this seemed to help. Also exercise took my mind off stuff

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  2. Thank you for sharing all of this. You are not alone in this challenging quest, as I myself face it quite often for my own reasons. I think one important thing to remember is that you can persevere through anything with the right mindset. When this happens, try to remember that it is just something that simply cannot be given the attention your brain demands it to have. This is an important moment where you must outsmart the emotions as challenging that is, and put yourself, your well being, and what you need to accomplish first. You deserve to be happy and enjoy life and not let these things get in the way. I know you can overcome this, just as I am currently trying to as well. If this does not work, just keep trying other methods you or your friends or family recommend. As long as you keep trying, keep pushing for YOUR sake, I promise all of this will become much less of a monumental obstacle. Best of luck to you!

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